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How To Work Towards Laziness

 

Sloth

The ciliate, moth, beetle, fungus and algae held on to dear life. They were moving again. This was too much. When they had found a warm sloth slumped on a tree they quickly assumed his body would be their immovable planet for the rest of their lives. Dream on creatures.

Bradypod didn’t know it but he was mirroring the exact irritation the lifeforms snuggled in his fur were feeling. When he was a baby he was on a sprawling Cercopia tree in the National Park of Paraguay. There, he turned a year old and was getting used to a life of sloth, eating little, defecating once a week and generally not moving much when they put him in a cage and shifted him 3552 kilometres away to the National Park of Columbia.

Though it was highly uncomfortable and caused him a great deal of inconvenience, he found another umbrella-shaped Cercopia tree and settled down thinking he would live out his years here in relative inactivity. Hah! At the end of the year, he heard the leaf picker at the park tell the rock polisher, the sloth was now going to be shifted 1534 kilometres away to the National Park of Peru.

Deeply resenting this constant movement he entered Peru determined to stay here for the rest of his life. He knew his natural laziness couldn’t accommodate another journey. The trouble in each place, which turned his life upside down seemed to be the same – a lack of funds. Logically, he came to the conclusion once the funds moved in, he could stay put.

He wondered how to be a part of the booming Peruvian economy. He had to have something that sells. One evening from the elevated perch of his branch he saw some school kids laughing at the antics of a monkey. Eureka! When a monkey perfroms monkey tricks, it’s entertaining but what happens when a sloth does the same?

The next day Bradypod waited for the first visitors to arrive at the park. Once he made sure they spotted him he began his show. He scratched his armpit with his three-toed, four-inch claws, peeled a banana delicately, scratched his nose, made monkey faces, pulled out a beetle from his fur and ate it with slurping nosies.

The visitors were thrilled, charmed and blown away by his range of unslothful activities. Phones were flashed and recordings were made. Youtube, Twitter, Facebook celebrated the birth of a new star. The citizens of the world poured into the National Park of Peru to see with their own eyes a sloth who behaved like a monkey.

In three months he was called a national treasure. In six he was the highest earning entertainer in the entire country. After a year, when he stopped his antics, impulsively overnight, nobody minded. They claimed he had grown old and let him retire with the full honours of a national hero. Needless to say, he spent the rest of his life setting new standards to being slothful.

Moral: You have to do some monkey tricks to get a good retirement

Bradypod is drawn by the fabulous Bijoy Venugopal. You can find more of his wonderful stuff here bijoyvenugopal.com